Did you know: Anger is often the mask hiding underlying fear, sadness, disappointment, and pain.
Have you ever been so angry steam was coming out of your ears? I have. Anger is often the last emotion to come to the surface in a big boiling pot of overflowing emotions. Anger is a mask hiding underlying fear, sadness, disappointment and/or pain.
Buried under anger is usually a seething pot of helplessness, hopelessness, and frustration. When left unchecked it can lead to depression (anger turned inwards), or rage (anger deflected outwards). This is not an excuse for poor behaviour, it is simply an awareness that needs to be recognized. Because feelings buried alive never die!!! They fester they boil and become toxic causing dis-ease. “Anger is meant to be acted upon. It is not meant to be acted out.”
When we can identify which emotion is driving the anger then…
When we can identify which emotion is driving the anger then we are better able to figure out what the need is and how to address it. In Body Talk sessions I have found that “the exhibiting trigger” is not really the originating cause of one’s explosion. The expressing of anger is caused by our interpretation or judgement about the situation, on top of the past situations that we previously repressed or weren’t able to rectify or deal with satisfactorily, and that this last incident explosively activated. I call this Active Memory! Although you may not consciously remember the original incident, it is still locked in your cells and is still vigorously running the reactive programming in your neurology.
Anger is not a bad thing, physiologically it is your body gathering steam to create a change in your situation ~ to re-establish boundaries that have been trespassed, to put a voice to your needs … however, often it is used as a machine gun to mow everything down in its wake, instead of a catalyst to identify where you require changes to be made. We are meant to use anger as fuel to take the actions we need to move where our anger points us. Note: Anger points the direction, so with a little thought, we can usually translate the message that our anger is sending us.
“Anger is meant to be acted upon. It is not meant to be acted out.”
Using muscle testing, in BodyTalk TM, we ask the body where the priority is. Where do we begin to uncover the root? All this is done at a subconscious level using muscle memory while the client lies passively on a massage table, and doesn’t even have to talk. Surprisingly silence is more relaxing, because the conscious mind will weave a story that distorts and justifies the acidic behaviour, so we ask the client to breathe deeply and let go. Once we recognize the original gestalt, the unconscious interpretation or judgement about the situation, and the need that is not being met, we can energetically diffuse the defensiveness and allow the body to truly relax and find relief. Then the mind is clear, and positive communication and authentic connection can be resumed, and conflict is decreased.
For example:
Let’s say a wife is angry because her husband and kids aren’t helping her with household chores. Her internal judgement is that they doesn’t care about her, that they are taking her for granted, even using her. Here it is Sadness driving her anger. She really wants support, consideration, cooperation, appreciation and love.
By determining and expressing her actual need, rather than her judgements dressed up in a costume of anger, we can reframe the energy so she is able suspend judgements, stop falling into the deep well of all the other times people have let her down, reclaim her personal power, and cease eroding her current relationships and self esteem.
Now she is far more likely to get the support and understanding she desires because not only has her energy field become less combative and hostile, but she is also now able to articulate clearly “I’m overwhelmed with the household chores and I need your support” rather than accusingly blurting out “You don’t care about me, you never help with the chores”. Feelthe shift?
When someone is “Angry” all over you, do not take it personally; it probably has very little to do with you. Rather, realize it is energy trying to create a change, and look at it as a state of their level of frustration right now, as well as a call for help. They may or may not accept your help, you may or may not be equipped to help, this is when it is important to find a Body Talk practitioner near you to get at the unconscious root, and shift the energy of the issue healing body mind and spirit.
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